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Overcoming my trauma through lucid dreaming

“Being rejected in the womb made me reject the idea of pregnancy until a had a strange and blissful lucid dream.”
Where does my trauma come from?
I was adopted as soon as I was born by an amazing and loving family. I couldn’t ask for better parents. I’ve always been so grateful for that. I’m a lucky girl. 🙂
As I was growing older I started to have weird and scary dreams about me getting pregnant, even before I become sexually active. My feelings during my dreams were rejection, desperation, hate…I tried everything to get rid of that pregnancy.
Not long ago I came to understand why I had those dreams, the reason I never wanted to play with my baby dolls, and obviously, my phobia of getting pregnant.
How did I get there? I had been practising mindfulness for about 3 years and I had been learning to be more aware and connected with myself. As a consequence I discovered lucid dreaming (knowing you’re dreaming, while you’re dreaming), and I found out I had experienced it many times as a child. I still remember flying around, having so much fun. ○/
I decided to know more and I came across with Charlie Morley ‘s help and his enthusiastic and fun way of teaching.
In the beginning I couldn’t keep lucid for too long, it took me few attempts to re-learn.
Then, the most meaningful and important lucid dream happened without any conscious intention. I still get emotional when I tell someone…it still gives me goosebumps.
Let me start… It was a dream within a dream. Funny hun, but it can happen. 😀 One of my dream characters, Keith, was one of my ballet teachers in the past. I always admired him. I knew he was a kind of spiritual guide in my dream. During our conversation I said to him “I’m gonna sleep and I’ll be lucid in my dream. I’ll meet you there.” Until this point I wasn’t lucid. Then I woke up in my dream, I was outside surrounded by a maze, the walls were made by plants. Straight away I knew I was dreaming, and I ran happily like a child through this maze calling for Keith. I found him very quickly. He was already waiting for me. He gave me a big and friendly smile and said “Hahaha you really got lucid! You did it! Now, come with me. I need to show you something. “ I followed him. The place was beautiful, a mix of a wild and man-made garden. He pointed me to a woman. She was lying on the floor in agony, suffering. Her eyes were glazed over, she was dying. I knew that was the woman who gave me birth. Keith confirmed that to me.

I went towards her and I kneeled by her side. I took her in my arms. I could feel her sadness. She said “forgive me” few times. I said “I forgive you”. Suddenly she opened her eyes. She looked at me in peace and grateful. I just could feel all that forgiveness energy in my heart. I decided to wake up. This time for real.

From that day my trauma dissipated into thin air.
Lucid dreaming is well known as an effective way to heal our physical body and overcome traumas, fears and anxiety. This happens because we can access the deepest layers of our mind while we are dreaming.
My unconscious mind made me face and heal something I wasn’t aware of.
I have no more fear…
January 19, 2021

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